Letting Myself Celebrate
I've learned this lesson several times already. But here I am again. Setting massively unrealistic expectations and then beating myself up when I don't meet them.
I did this with the ceiling stars in my office, I really did this with the exterior windows, and I did it again in my kitchen. I took off three days of work. I researched. I talked to friends that have done this before. I planned and prepped for every iota of this project. I was ready! I thought three days was plenty of time as long as I was fully prepared with all of my supplies and I didn't dilly-dally. And yes, that may be true for a professional, but I am no professional, people!
I spent Monday painting the two walls in my kitchen that touch the countertops - I wanted to paint before the beautiful new wood was installed. Tuesday was supposed to be spent cutting my butcher blocks, attaching them at the joint and then also to the cabinets. And Wednesday was meant to be a catch all day incase two days was unrealistic. 🤦
Monday went exactly as planned. Tuesday moved slower than I wanted it to, but that was completely fine because I still had Wednesday! And then when Wednesday also went way slower than I expected... que that super mean voice in my head that loves to tell me I'm not enough. When 5:00 rolled around and I was only just getting sealer on the countertops (this has to sit for 6 hours before I can start installing my sink!), I was totally weighed down by defeat. I was just so disappointed with myself. I felt like I had failed.
But then I stopped.
And I looked around me.
I have butcher block countertops! I took two big slabs of wood and I actually turned them into countertops! I cut them, I sanded them, I attached them at the joint, I sealed them. And I didn't ruin anything! I freaking did it! No I'm not finished yet, I still have to reinstall my sink and cooktop but the part I've been the most anxious about is over! And I didn't just do it, I did it well!
I HAVE REASON TO CELEBRATE! That dang voice in my head can go suck an egg because I have accomplished something amazing this week! I don't know when I'll be finished with the kitchen but I am already so stinkin' proud of myself!